Photo Credit (Pixeles)
People often claim to have inherited it from their mother. I guess I inherited my love of personal style from mine. My mom was a middle-class mom in the 1980s and 1990s, and despite having sticky fingers, a tumultuous craft project, and a family dinner for twelve at the same time, she always looked put together. She learned to sew so that she could find clothes that fit her body and budget as a twentysomething. Even though she was a widowed retiree, a caretaker for my father, and an elderly person with a packed schedule of social events, meetings, and seminars, she managed to keep up her appearance and sense of style as she grew older.
My mother abruptly died not long ago. I am very conscious of the uniform my mother made for herself to look put-together, professional, and to match her appearance to her personality (also known as the book jacket to her novel) while my sister and I go through family photos. When she was younger, her body was varied in size and ability, and her bank account fluctuated; her personal style uniform functioned.
How to Stay Fashionable as We Get Older
I am aware that a lot of people visit Wardrobe Oxygen seeking guidance on how to appear put together, develop their own sense of style, and make sense of the complicated world of fashion trends. Additionally, I was considering how my mother exemplified a simplified style and how her strategies for preserving her individuality throughout life would help others.
Remain with solids
Very few prints and patterns can be found in my mom’s closet. Not even tweed or heated materials appealed to her. Solid, transparent colors were crucial, though you might occasionally see polka dots or Breton stripes. Bold, transparent cobalt, cerulean, royal purple, turquoise, and teal hues were my mother’s favorites. It would be a solid hue that brought her joy, whether it was a silky blouse for a night out or a t-shirt from Lands’ End.
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These real, transparent hues in blue and purple made my mom’s complexion glow since she was a “Winter,” but she wore them primarily because she loved them. These colors would be used if she were purchasing a suitcase or travel mug. These are the colors she would use if she were painting her house or purchasing new towels. Even if it wasn’t “her colors,” according to some color experts, she wore what made her happy.
Accept Color
We get less colorful as we age. Our brows and lashes grow sparse, our skin thins and loses its rosy flush, and our hair dries out and becomes gray. Soft hues are suggested by some style advisors to go well with our subdued personalities, but my mom and I are both on Team Color. She really wore less black and gray close to her face as she grew older.
We can both literally and symbolically disappear as we become older. In a crowd, we may feel inconspicuous, our worth and intelligence disregarded. Choosing to wear color is a method to stand out and demonstrate that we are intentionally showing up.
Wear royal purple instead of mauve, blue instead of cadet, pink instead of blush, and emerald green instead of gray. This isn’t a call to join the Red Hat Society, but it does seem like fun. Some stores, such as Lands’ End, Boden, J. Crew, Cabi, and Kettlewell, always have bright, clear colors available in wardrobe staples, whereas many fashion labels for women “of a certain age” concentrate on softer colors.
And don’t be afraid to flaunt a muted outfit if that’s your preference! Try experimenting with color even in a subdued palette. For example, you may choose a gentler hue for your blouse rather than black, or you could match the tones with scarves and other accessories. Even the smallest adjustments can have the greatest effects.
Maintain a Basic Base
Dresses weren’t really my mom’s thing. She enjoyed the freedom of jeans, slacks, and shorts, but she wore them when she thought it was suitable. She also kept things basic with her shorts, jeans, and pants. Just blue jeans, black, and white (with the occasional stone or tan that was hardly worn)—no adornment, no extremely fashionable styles.
My mom would be seen wearing a jewel-toned blouse and black pants in the winter, white pants or shorts in the summer, and denim on the weekends, whether it was 1983 or 2023. She stayed true to this basic foundation, even as silhouettes and denim washes were altered to suit her personal preferences and the latest trends.
The problem is that nobody can tell if those black ponte pants were purchased yesterday or ten years ago. They are unable to identify if they are from Walmart or Nordstrom. Additionally, even the most basic t-shirt may be made more stylish with a pair of white trousers or white chino shorts. She also wore white chino shorts that were decades old, yet they still looked put together with new shirts and clean shoes.
Since most people are observing you from the waist up, it also makes sense to keep your base simple. When standing up at a cocktail party or other social gathering, or when seated at a desk or table, your lower body is not the main topic of conversation. You might prioritize the items that are closest to your face and wear the same basic things over and over again, especially when you’re on a tight budget.
Make sure your shoes and pants (or legs) match.
My mom always wore shoes that matched her clothing. She had smart boots and pumps for business, flats, and even patent leather Birkenstocks as a school teacher. As she became older, she wore supportive designs and put comfort and health first. Additionally, those shoes complemented her legs or provided a low contrast when she wore cropped pants or shorts.
You form a continuous line when your shoes and pants match. This is common if you want to extend your body or adhere to figure-flattery guidelines, but it’s also wise since it keeps the attention on your upper body. Although statement shoes are entertaining, there’s a reason they’re called that. When people see them, their gaze will follow up, taking in the full appearance.
Keep your shoes in low contrast to the lower portion of your ensemble if you want to draw attention to the upper portion. When wearing shorts or white pants, pair them with black shoes or shoes that are a hue that contrasts with your skin tone. Your appearance will be more put together and polished without focusing on trends because it will be simpler to incorporate comfortable shoes and draw less attention to shoes that might not be the newest styles.
Use Accessories to Express Your Personality
In addition to her love of blue, my mother was well-known for her flamboyant jewelry choices. She had a collection of mostly silver jewelry, which was typically a pendant on a long chain or thread and accessorized with hoop earrings made of the same metal. She occasionally wore a single cuff or a wrist full of thin bangles. Some came from craft fairs or yard sales, some from stores like Chico’s, and several were of sterling silver that her great-aunt had created or that she had bought while traveling.
She frequently accessorized her outfits with scarves when she was a teacher. Once more, some were Liberty silk scarves that she purchased while she was living in London, some were discovered in T.J. Maxx’s sale department, and many were presents or purchases made while traveling. Her basic outfits are complemented with jewelry and scarves, which may transform a blouse and black slacks from an errand-running ensemble to a work outfit, funeral attire, or a date night ensemble.
Those who don’t wear accessories may find this intimidating. However, it’s much easier than making several distinct costumes. Start with only one item that appeals to you. A scarf, earrings, a necklace, and a brooch. Try wearing it in various settings and with various ensembles. Check out the sensation. Is it wearing you, or are you wearing it? How does it hang with your hairstyle, and how does it feel with the necklines you like?
I frequently use elongating a necklace as a hack to achieve a distinct look. Necklaces frequently strike the wrong spot on our bodies as we grow taller, heavier, or have fuller breasts. Until we try a different length and discover that the outcome feels more… correct (or even more comfortable), we might not even be aware of it. You may frequently use a chain bracelet as a necklace extender by hooking it to a necklace that has a clasp on the back. Additionally, to serve as an extender, I tied a hair elastic through the clasp necklace’s last jump ring.
Before you go out and purchase more items, experiment with lengths and ensembles. You don’t need a vast collection of accessories to put together a chic wardrobe. Less is more, especially when it comes to accessories that form your hallmark.
Obtain a Cut and Wash
My mother has had perms, pixie cuts, shags, and bobs over the years. However, when she collaborated with her stylist to discover a wash-and-wear cut that complements her natural hair texture, she consistently had the best success and looked the most put together. Her style evolved to embrace the new texture of her hair, which included more silver and gray strands.
For the last ten or so years, it has been a variation of a bob, with a few minor layers for movement, sometimes a side part, sometimes a middle part, sometimes extremely short in the back and slanted towards her chin, and most recently something akin to a “lob” that is all one length closer to her shoulders. She could use a round brush and her dryer to get it sleek, but she typically left it do its thing. With frequent stylist visits, it always looked fantastic, even when it was impacted by perspiration, humidity, or unusual water when she traveled.
Our hair may get thinner, our scalps more sensitive, and our tresses more unkempt as we age. Finding ways to work with our hair that simplify our routine and still produce results that complement the effect we want to achieve with our style is more crucial now than ever. Easy-care hair that isn’t a chemically induced helmet is attainable because of advancements in hair products, haircuts, and stylists. It’s tempting to make it really simple with a very short cut handled with spray and perms.
Talk to your hairdresser before you settle into the salon chair. Talk about your wish for a straightforward update once your hair is dry. Discuss in a realistic manner how frequently you wash your hair, how much time you have (or are willing to devote) to style each day, and how your day is going. Because it gets in the way, do you end up posting it? Are you a fan of length? Are bangs annoying to you, or perhaps they’re a hairstyle you’ve always desired but haven’t been able to pull off? Discuss this with your stylist and schedule a consultation before your next cut if you are aware that appointment timings are rigid.
Don’t be scared to try out different stylists if you want something different but your regular hairdresser only sees you in this particular cut. Don’t assume you can’t visit the hip salon down the street because you’re a particular age. My mom’s stylist, who also happens to be my sister’s stylist, our best friend’s stylist, her husband’s stylist, and many other people we know, was discovered at the Instagrammable salon I visited. Current trends are much simpler, adopting fewer products and techniques for outstanding style, and younger stylists are adept at experimenting with a variety of hair textures. You could need a new cut to give your personal style a boost.
Continue Changing Your Eyeglasses
It’s likely that you wear spectacles if you’re a mature woman. They might only be used for reading, driving, or something that is constantly on your face unless you’re sleeping or taking a shower. Additionally, that prescription probably changes frequently. This implies that you have many opportunities to switch up your appearance by adding different frames.
This can be intimidating. You are frequently by yourself and feeling overpowered by the assortment of possibilities at LensCrafters, Costco, Warby Parker, or the optician’s showroom. Because the samples don’t include your prescription, you can’t even see how you appear when you try them on. Here are some ideas to assist with this:
Go shopping with a friend. This person, who may not be your best friend, is stylish and unafraid, to be honest. One style makes you look like your mother, one makes you look like you own the hippest art gallery in New York City, and one ages you. This is the person who will tell you that.
Take pictures of yourself. To avoid filling the entire frame, use your selfie or front-facing camera and click the tiny 0.5 at the bottom to cause the camera to pan out. Avoid taking selfies from above or below, and extend your arm as far as you can. This is not just a one-and-done or mug shot. Click while grinning. Click and smirk. Click while looking to the left. Click after looking to the right. Click while pretending to chuckle. Click while making a goofy expression.
After taking a few pictures with a few possible frames, put on your glasses and take a seat. This might take place at a local cafe, at the showroom, or when you have time to go home and consider your options. Examine the pictures, text your friend, child, or relative about the potential looks, or post them to a Facebook community of people who are honest, friendly, and encouraging (the Wardrobe Oxygen Community is a terrific alternative).
Make a wardrobe of frames. Not everyone can do this, particularly if their prescription is complicated. However, these days, you can purchase adorable frames with prescription lenses online for less than $50. In this manner, you can change up your appearance without having to purchase an entire wardrobe. Additionally, it allows you to experiment with different styles without having to spend the hundreds of dollars that your ophthalmologist or optician would normally charge for a pair.
I loved Zenni for affordable, fashionable prescription glasses before I had LASIK. The glasses, which include bifocals and transitions, were of high quality, and the prescription was completed correctly. I have readers from CADDIS that are really stylish and high-quality, and they also do prescriptions, albeit they are not as inexpensive.
Your entire appearance changes as you swap out your glasses. Consider the evolution of eyewear trends over time: the transformation of thick “B.C.” glasses from goofy to cool, and the transition of metal “Ben Franklin” frames from dorky to cool to dated to elegant. The same is true of tinted lenses, big plastic frames, aviators, and so forth. The biggest influence on your appearance will come from keeping up with the latest fashions and identifying those that complement your face, way of life, and sense of style. And this quick style update doesn’t have to break the bank these days.
Adopt Stylish Comfort
We have less f*cks to give as we age, but if we still have shit to give, we can be searching for ways to look put together or stylish while yet being more comfortable. Chic comfort may be attained at any age and price range, especially these days. My mother preferred knit sweaters and blouses made of natural fibers with stretch denim or ponte knit pants. However, by emphasizing fit, color, and condition, these easy-to-wear outfits looked stylish.
Although my mother was always little, she grew smaller with time, just like most of us. She realized that her clothing size had altered and that she could no longer afford “regular” cut clothes; instead, she had to limit herself to small options. Her wardrobe evolved along with her body form, discarding anything that made her feel sloppy, constrained, or segmented. Even after undergoing a partial mastectomy, she altered her underwear, necklines, and top styles to fit her body rather than work against it, and she adjusted the length of her pants to fit her current footwear.
Tailoring is a given for grown-up ladies, as I stated in this article about accepting fashion trends. We can’t all get fantastic fit in off-the-rack clothing, and it gets harder as we get older. With time and life events, our bodies become even more distinctive. Comfortable clothes can look sloppy and like we’ve given up, but they can look amazing if you obtain the right fit and get some help from a tailor, seamstress, or even a local dry cleaner.
Take Care of Yourself and Your Clothes
People are more likely to care about us when we appear to care about how we look. This does not entail wearing a full face of makeup, pushing our bodies into Spanx and heels, or purchasing the newest styles. It entails giving our outfit the consideration it merits. Having a wardrobe that is dependable and lasts through the years is preferable to having to reinvent it every season, especially as we age.
To get rid of fuzzyballs, use a sweater shaver. I’ve had this battery-operated shaver for years, and my buddy who sews and knits loves it. Rather than letting your favorite knits tumble dry, get out that drying rack. Sweaters should be folded rather than hung to stretch out. Additionally, be aware of when to retire parts that are worn out. Give your knit pants and sweaters the same consideration as that dress or jacket in your closet. Well-maintained items look more fashionable, and we appear much more put together.
Take your shoes to the cobbler at the conclusion of each season. To ensure they are prepared for you the next year, have them resoled, reheeled, and polished. Replace your insoles once a year to ensure they continue to function, smell, and look beautiful if you use them (I have them in all of my boots and sneakers and adore these inexpensive ones for arch support).
Despite their high cost, handbags are the pieces we wear every day, are subjected to the most wear and tear, and are more noticeable than shoes or any other item in our closet. Cut out any white threads that protrude from wear with a pair of cuticle scissors. To preserve the finish as soft and glossy as possible, ask your cobbler if they provide bag restoration services, or at the very least, think about using leather conditioner. As with eyeglass frames, there are traditional styles for this accessory, but they do evolve over time, so perhaps it’s time to get a modern bag.
Even if you or your life seem to be falling apart, you deserve to look and feel put together. Since clothing is a type of armor, you should maintain and repair your wardrobe just like you would your armor in between conflicts.
